Interview with award-winning actress Eve Zhao on Indie Drama Kill Me: A Dreamer’s Odyssey

Born in China, actress Eve Zhao received her education and enculturation in many different countries around the world. In this interview, she traces her journey as an actress who keeps dreaming, learning, and growing. Eve Zhao further talks about her recent indie drama Kill Me, which won numerous international awards. Eve Zhao plays The protagonist Ye in Kill Me. Ye is a poor country girl from a broken family who works as a private care worker in the US. However, she starts to develop sympathy for her patient Lily. At this point, she faces the tough choice between her conscience and family.

indieactivity: When and why do you want to become an actor? Tell us where it all started?
Eve Zhao (EZ): It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment that really triggered my desire to be an actor. It seems to have just been living inside me since I was a child. I imitated dialogue and movements on TV, film, or any media that I had access to. Looking back now, I would say it just runs in my blood. My grandparents work at a theater back in my hometown. I’d always sneak behind the drapes of the theater to see how they rehearse and prepare for a show. I’d watch them do daily warm-ups and vocal training.

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I was mesmerized by how different these people looked, behaved and carried themselves on stage. And I just forgot that these were people I know so well in real life. I can’t help but cry when they cry, laugh and when they laugh. It feels like waking up from a sweet dream; when the curtain drops, lights turn on and applause erupts. That was the first time I realized how much acting affects me. The idea of being an actor has ever since rooted in me and never changed.

Could you briefly tell us about your journey as an actor? What has brought you this far and how?
Eve Zhao (EZ): Despite my desire to become an actor, I was conventionally educated. I wanted to live up to my family’s expectations. So, I quit my dance class as well as other creative activities. In turn I fully dedicated myself to school in my adolescence years. I buried my childhood dream to be an actor deep inside my heart. I believed it was going to be my life someday. But that didn’t happen until I moved to Australia. There I fully immersed myself into western culture. I developed my interest in acting and kept practicing my craft working on independent productions.

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That was the experience that opened up the world of acting to me. I finally decided to pursue what my real passion had been leading all along. It was undoubtedly hard to make the decision and to convince my family. Eventually, I was able to convince them of my pursue for acting. I stated the fact that it may not be as stable as a conventional job. Yet, I’m willing and ready to live my life despite the fact. In 2018 after graduation, I moved to the US. I furthered my studies in filmmaking and acting and have been working actively as an actor ever since.

How does your background in filmmaking impact your acting career?
Eve Zhao (EZ): Very profoundly I would say, especially for acting in film which is a major focus right now. Actors with a background in theater often feel confused on a film set. Truly, they are not familiar with the process on a film set function. However, my background in filmmaking afforded me a unique experience from behind and in front of the camera. I also understand the instructions from the director better and could process them and adjust my performance accordingly. It has made the communication and collaboration process a lot easier for me and the director. And I’m truly grateful for that.

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Could you share with us how you improved your acting?
Eve Zhao (EZ): I think acting training incorporates two parts, skills and qualities. Different actors weigh one more than the other. Yet, great acting is always a combination of both. I keep training to strengthen my acting skills. Attending workshops, and taking acting classes, reveal new insights. I study different acting techniques, learning what works best through practice. We learn by doing.

Everything takes practice. Through consistent learning and theoretical application I embody the actors process in my daily life. So, I can approach characters authentically and organically. It also makes me feel prepared and helps me to stay in that actor’s mindset when surrounded by my peers. Equally, I never stop nurturing myself because I believe that certain qualities can only be cultivated through actors’ efforts. It’s hard to acquire sensitivity, empathy, or imagination from just training.

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And I’m also too young to have sufficient and authentic experience as support, so I try to compensate for that by reading, watching movies, and going out to meet different people. Traveling is another way for me to see, question, acknowledge, and understand the world and myself so whenever I feel I’m stuck or drained, I always give myself a break, allow myself to learn and grow, and get rejuvenated in a different environment.

How do you prepare for your character in Kill Me? Is the process any different from your past experience?
Eve Zhao (EZ): I was told that I needed to use a dialect for the phone call scenes with my “mom” in the film and I’d say that’s one of the biggest challenges for me to prepare for this character. The dialect is also crucial to this story because that’s what tells the audience that Ye is just a “poor country Chinese girl” who has no choice but to work a dirty job in the US as the breadwinner for her broken family, so to make the character more believable, I sought help from coaches and friends and practiced extensively at home. To be frank, it was stressful to learn a dialect in two-week’s time but I’m glad that it worked out in the end and turned out to be very helpful in establishing the character and story.

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What is the most challenging part of this film for you?
EZ: The most challenging part of this film is probably the car scene with the dealer. What he said to Ye, my character really triggered her and brought out the rage, hatred, and desperation that she’s been withholding this entire time, and yet, she can’t deny it. This is the truth of the world she’s dealing with, so we see her crumpling up the money and then flattening them back one by one – She needs them for her family, and she’ll get them whatever it takes.

This scene is key to Ye’s character arc, from which point, she officially made the decision to follow the order despite her sympathy for Lily. It’s a very emotional scene and yet, she’s too burnt out to fully let out her emotions. I was nervous and confused at first when we shot that scene but once I was physically placed in the cold night of January Boston, smoking a cigar, I can just feel what was torturing her——the struggle and pain that almost shredded her to pieces. And all I do is just let it be and go with the flow. I think that’s also what Yushi wants ——Ultimate and brutal rawness.

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How do you like collaborating with the director and other casts?
EZ: It was a total and utter joy to work with Yushi. He knows very clearly what he wants for performance and he’s also capable of bringing it out of us in the best and easiest way possible. And even so, he still genuinely respects and values thoughts, suggestions, and different voices. Since this is a very personal story and heavily emotion-driven, Yushi wanted to make sure all the dialogue and actions are natural and reasonable for us. We also discussed the script, and back story and did other prep work together beforehand just to know each other and how we’re used to working. It was delightful to work with other casts as well. We went through a lot of ups and downs together and built trust and friendship. Everyone truly feels like family.

What’s your takeaway from the production of this film?
EZ: During the production of this film, I learned to find the balance between trusting others’ creative decisions or sticking with my own when a difference arises. I was lucky—Yushi was really good at communicating and he also understands and trusts the decisions that I make and I reciprocated that, which not only solve the problem but also made the rest of the shoot silkily easy.

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But I think this is still a long-existing question that all actors have asked themselves at some point in their career, because we’re taught that acting is all about believing in ourselves, believing us believe in the character, and believing what we believe is right, which could be different for others. And therefore, we, as actors need to be flexible, and ready to take the character in any direction needed. Of course, communication is important, it’s truly indispensable to any solution.

Do you have any new projects coming up? Could you share it with us?
EZ: I just wrapped another indie body horror film “Tail”, in Boston and I’m really excited to see how it’s going to turn out. Body horror is a genre that I’ve never tried before and I’ve learned so much from this production, acting, and collaboration-wise. I also got to work with the same producer and some of the crew from Kill Me again, so it really feels like returning home. I’ve really laughed, cried, learned, and grown with them and felt the tight bond formed between each and everyone on the team. I can say one thing for sure, it’s an incredible project and everyone poured their hearts and souls into the making of it. I’m so excited for you all to see it, so just wait and see!

Any advice you’d like to give to aspiring actors?
EZ: I was greatly encouraged by what Kate Winslet once said at the BAFTA ceremony that we shouldn’t listen to anyone who has ever tried to put us down, no matter if it’s a teacher, a friend, or even a parent. Because when we walk through this world, this is going to happen a lot, and to walk as an actor, we’re going to hear even more. So, it’s just really important to filter out those voices, believe and focus on yourself, and learn and grow.

Acting is very hard to take as a career indeed, unlike other jobs, what we’re facing is ourselves. You need to face a lot of imperfections, insecurities, and fears, but if you could get over them all and eventually stand in front of yourself, you’ll be surprised how far you’ve already gone. And I just want to say, to anyone who wants to have a life acting, to those who have found their way or are still trying to figure things out, me myself included, that no matter what others say, don’t listen to any of it, don’t doubt, listen to your heart, and just keep going.

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